Case Study 1
An alternative diagnosis
Mr Jones (not his real name) came to see me because of one reason that was worrying him, and left with a different reason. He had a pain in the chest, and the doctor had advised there was nothing medically wrong, and it was in the mind, leaving Mr Jones angry with the doctor, but prepared to visit me to discover if there was another side to this chest pain.
I worked with Mr Jones by focussing on possible psychological reasons for this pain, and discovered it came down to a relationship issue between him and his wife. However, there was a heart problem that was developing, and he had low vitality. He was working but didn’t like his job.
I first worked with Mr Jones on his job, before moving to the relationship with his wife, noting that he was the youngest of 3 boys, overlooked within the family, and that his mother was violent. We succeeded firstly in building his work relationship, and building his confidence. As the sessions proceeded, I worked harder with Mr Jones to understand other issues. His childhood was one of never to be seen or heard, and believing he was misunderstood.
Dealing with the relationship between Mr & Mrs Jones
Mr Jones really wanted to do things together with his wife, but because she didn’t respond to this, he found himself with few things to do. She was uncommunicative with him, and one of his biggest gripes was she wouldn’t share her experiences of the day with him. Mrs Jones passion was dogshows, and she went without him. However, Mr Jones also found it hard to talk to his wife, and her lack of communication was in fact her reflecting this back to him like a mirror. We worked on this to some depth.
Exploring what he liked doing, he started to produce some ideas for himself. One in particular, interested both his wife and the family and they all joined in. He found himself going to the dogshows with his wife. When he completed the sessions, he said that whilst he could see the marriage wasn’t perfect, he now had the tools and understanding to see what to do. He left a little sad to be leaving me but glad he’d had someone who had listened deeply and understood how best to help.
Case Study 2
Choosing better relationships
Aged 57, Susan had been with a violent manipulative husband and left him 7 years earlier, but had not moved on in her mind, and she didn’t feel able to do much about changing things. She felt she was a victim, felt bullied at work, and also saw her sister as a bully. Communications with her ex-husband were difficult. She wanted a different relationship with a man but felt she wasn’t attracting the right sort.
Susan’s private life will was weak, and she was a victim of other peoples’ needs. This carried over to her relationships. One give-away sign was she found it hard to settle on private life options. Another was her feeling that personal life change as risky.
Susan had a strong will in different ways. She passed a degree and achieved deadlines at work. Her challenge was to bring this more powerful thinking into her personal life.
Helping Susan evoke her own changes
Part of my work over the series of sessions with Susan was to firstly evoke her will to make this change by moving her feelings from her mind to her heart, then to help her keep practising so it became natural. Part of this was to encourage Susan to choose between previously difficult options. I used imagery to reach Susan’s intuition, and another was to encourage Susan to imagine what she wanted to enjoy. Weekends were important, so Susan created them. If she faltered, I would challenge her. ‘So what’s stopping you..?’ ‘Fear about what I want, was the reply.’
Reasons were discussed, and the discussions created an intent and motivation. I continued to work with Susan through the imagery. At one point Susan spontaneously selected images of her sister and curiously her ex-husband. I worked with her to image an improving relationship with him, and through this to encourage herself to seek out a new relationship.
By knowingly moving her feeling to her heart, Susan built her ability to change her relationships, and better set personal priorities. During the cycle of sessions she did indeed meet a new boyfriend, and her relationship with her sister improved.
For more information on who we have helped and how, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me on 020 8441 1495 to learn more.
Anita Jackson is a trained counsellor and has a PGDip Psychosynthesis Counselling and Teacher/Dip Imagework. She is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP, and UK Association of Transpersonal Counsellors)